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The Luxury of My Outrage

I’m stuck, so I’m just going to type.

I’m not just stuck with writing and blogging, I’m stalled at work, my house is a mess, and I’m not even sleeping.

A combination of outrage fatigue (a brilliant term coined by The Onion) and a nasty stomach bug have stolen my creativity. Honestly, the Indiana and Arizona laws have me so disturbed, I feel like they caused my stomach bug, or at least made me more susceptible to it and slower to heal from it.

I feel like I need to say something about this. I need to use my words. Couldn’t I make a difference? At least to myself?

There was a national outcry against the Indiana law, and it did make a difference. There were petitions, phone calls, people took to social media. There was this:

Rihanna on Indiana Law: Fuck That Shit

I would like to think that was what sent Mike Pence back to make provisions to protect LGBT rights (a little). But it was probably the CEOs and managers of major corporations, Universities and the NCAA speaking up that did it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m REALLY glad that happened and it made a difference. It’s just troublesome that the law passed in the first place, and the similar law in Arizona almost passed, given the public outcry against them. And it’s troublesome that it took economic threats to make politicians consider human rights.

I’ve read some really eloquent, passionate and convincing articles speaking out against the laws from both non-Christians and Christians. I think they must help, and maybe they do, but because I am a masochist, I read the comments.

It makes me think about when I was little and my friend and I used to flip over rocks to see the creepy crawlies underneath. I look at the comments, hoping for good things and finding the creepy crawlies.

The people who hate will not be convinced by anything. Their arguments are not based on reason or logic. They aren’t even arguments, just different ways of saying hateful things.

What is there to say, then? Nothing to them, I think. Hateful people are happiest when they are hating. They will seek the “information” that reinforces how they already feel.

So I will say this to my gay, lesbian and bisexual friends and family:

I love you so much. I love you, and I’m sorry your right to exist is on the fucking news all the time as part of a political agenda.

I love you, and if you think there is something I can say or do that is different or that can help, please tell me. Please.

I am CONSTANTLY humbled by your ability to be such caring wonderful people despite all that you see and hear and put up with.

When things like what has happened over the past couple of weeks hit the news, I have the luxury of being outraged, and whining about my “outrage fatigue.”

I don’t have the daily worry about being fired or targeted for a verbal or physical attack because of who my partner is. I understand that I don’t even understand all the ways you have to live differently from me to either keep yourselves physically safe or keep your souls from beings suffocated.

My gay, lesbian and bisexual friends and family are some of the best people I know. Because you are, I am guilty of a prejudice, and I apologize. I tend to like GBLTQIA people when I first meet them (granted, I live in the south, so not many people feel safe being out here).

I know that this automatic liking is as unfair as an automatic disliking. Everyone deserves the right to be a jerk. I try to be mindful of that, but maybe I seem safer to some because I know you. That can’t be a bad thing, right?

Anyway, there it is. I will keep watching, speaking up where I can, and trying to understand. Thank you for being a treasured part of my life.

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